The 10 tech... Regrets (we’ve had a few)

You opened your gadgets

In 2012, two eBay sellers listed an original 2007 unboxed iPod with an asking price of $10,000. But,Ukea short-sighted freak, you've always gone and opened every toy as soon as you’ve purchased it, from your original Double Telescoping Darth VaderLightsaberto your iPhone 5. Well, "Pm not being a sap any longer”, you think, as you place yoor children’s inheritance into your new safes a mint condition, box- fresh Huawei Ascend G300. Now to play the waiting game.

GarageBand was never really mastered

An all-night recording session, just you and Jack (a bottle of). By sunrise you’ve created a composition that, to your ears, starts with echoes of The Beta Band’s Dry The Rain and finishes with a dramatic sonic explosion. It’s definitely good enough for a nature documentary

advert After some sleep you wake, listen hack and discover a monstrosity that’d make even Super Hans feel a bit embarrassed for you. Maybe take off the "Slapped Electric Bass” and add one more layer of “Pop Flute”? 

5/Steve Jobs’ biography was left unfinished

You just skipped to the

bits where he took add, shouted at people, had a liver transplant and ate strange meals. All the bits they printed in the newspapers, then. Still, looks good on the shelf

6/You didn’t build a man lab

You could have built a private garden room for you and your toys, or converted the loft, but you decided you bad

better things to spend £20k on - you fool! Not only do we recommend a proper tech den, we also encourage hiring a confused old man to act as your own Q - the more confused he is, the more you’ll save. Carpe diem!

7/You opted out

The PC asked if you wanted to opt into web porn. Your partner was sitting next to you. You

had no choice. You clicked "no", and the room began to spin as the gravity of what just happened sank in. Years have now passed, and you and the other "opt outers” must roam the landscape on quad bikes, like post-apocalypse scavengers, searching for adult DVDs left in the comers of fields.

But there hasn’t been a sighting for 30 years...

8/Kirsty young never called

You listen to the Desert Island Discs podcast as you sit at work, daydreaming of being asked on the show. You’ve got your songs ready, from the first tune you ever downloaded to the tearjerker that reminds you of when your daughter was bom and you “^elt everything change”. But for what ever reason, Kirstyjust won’t return your calls.-

9/You went a bit too anti-Apple

Now you’re staring longingly at someone’s iPad while you try to remember which four- button combo opens a file on your Windows tablet Too late to go back now though; it’s a matter of principle-

10/You replied to a scam email

You thought you’d have a bit of fun with the fraudster claimingto be a Nigerian prince offering you millions of pounds in exchange for a thousand of yours. Alas, you've accidentally included your email signature - complete with your address, mobile number and alternative email - with your witty reply.